Which of the following describes the individuals ability to connect with others?
People skills are an essential part of work, life, and social success. When you have strong people skills, you are better able to: Show
What are people skills? People skills are the tools you use to communicate and interact effectively with others. Individuals with strong people skills are able to predict behavior, relate to others, and socialize easily. People skills also are known as soft skills, interpersonal skills, social skills, emotional intelligence, and interpersonal intelligence. Research has even found that those who have strong people skills make an average of $29,000 more per year! People skills are one of the most underappreciated areas of career development. In career development, we are lucky if we have the occasional soft skills training or communication course. I believe interpersonal intelligence, or PQ, needs to be honed. Just like we develop our IQ, we need to work on our PQ. People smarts are just as important as book smarts. Test Your People SkillsBefore I explain the essential people skills, take our People Skills quiz and self-diagnose your interpersonal strengths: Test Your Skills ↑ Table of Contents ↑ People Skill ScienceResearchers define people skills as three sets of abilities. First, someone’s personal effectiveness. As a people skill, personal effectiveness is all about how you come across to others. Are you able to pitch yourself? Can you communicate clearly? Can you get what you need from others? Someone with strong personal effectiveness typically also makes a memorable first impression and has a confident presence with the people they meet. Second, is your interaction ability. This is how well you predict and decode behavior. In an interaction, can you empathize with someone? Are you highly perceptive? Finally, someone with strong people skills is able to intercede easily. This means they are able to lead, influence, and build bridges between people. Are you a connector? A mediator? Oftentimes this can be calming down difficult or toxic people. ↑ Table of Contents ↑ The 10 People Skills Everyone Should Know:This is the ultimate soft skills list. Read through the following people skills and examine your own interpersonal strengths and weaknesses. Here at the Science of People lab, we have found 10 skills that come up over and over again with highly effective individuals. Social AssertivenessDo you stand up for yourself in social situations? Do you feel confident interacting with others? Are you assertive with your social needs? Social assertiveness is essential for conserving social energy. We only have so much social energy to spare. If you are socially assertive, you are able to save and spend your social energy in the right ways. If you lack social assertiveness, your energy is wasted on the wrong people, in awkward situations, or is not aligned with your social goals. People with high social assertiveness have more focused social energy and have more clarity in their interactions: People with low social assertiveness:
People with high social assertiveness are able to:
Action Step: Extroverts, ambiverts, and introverts all have different levels of social energy. Figure out if you are an extrovert, introvert, or ambivert, so you can spend your social energy efficiently. ↑ Table of Contents ↑ Crafting a Memorable PresenceAre you memorable? Do you make a strong first impression? Do people remember your name after meeting you? People with a great presence have an easy time making lasting connections and are extremely good at rapport-building. Your presence has a direct relationship to your ability to create lasting personal relationships and build a network. If you have a strong presence, people gravitate towards you, remember you better, and are more likely to work with you. People with a weak presence:
People with a memorable presence:
Action Step: Learn how to be interesting. I think everyone has the potential to be fascinating — we just don’t always know how. I have 5 easy steps to be more interesting. ↑ Table of Contents ↑ Master CommunicationDo you enjoy public speaking and presenting? Specifically, are you comfortable communicating your ideas to large groups? Master communicators know how to present themselves, and effectively get their message across. Poor communicators tend to:
Master communicators excel at:
Action Step: I would love to show you how to master public speaking. Most people think this is a skill you cannot learn—not true! Anyone can learn to be a master communicator. Start with our video on How to Work a Stage Like a Pro: Want more? Check out our course People School. ↑ Table of Contents ↑ Sustain Lasting ConfidenceDo you ever feel socially anxious? Everyone feels a little bit of nervousness in some social situations, but the question is: Can you overcome your social anxiety? People who can sustain lasting confidence are able to conquer their shyness and avoid awkwardness. They might have internal strategies or mantras to get them through their anxiety, or they have socialized enough to overcome any nervous tendencies. People with high social anxiety:
People who can sustain social confidence:
Action Step: Do you have social anxiety? Make sure you know the signs and symptoms, and use our tips to conquer it. ↑ Table of Contents ↑ Master ConversationHow do you get past small talk? In my book Captivate, I talk about the idea of BIG talk. This is when you level up boring, predictable small talk into deep, memorable conversation. I believe that most interactions happen in three levels: The First Five Minutes: This is your first impression, when you decide if someone is worth getting to know. It can happen professionally, romantically, or socially. This level is the front door — can you get invited inside someone’s inner circle? The First Five Hours: Once you have made it past the first level, you get to have a first meeting, first phone call, or first date. This is when you move past first impressions into rapport building. The First Five Days: This is the final level. You want people in this level with whom you would be happy to do a weekend road trip. It’s the ultimate level of trust and connection. This could be romantic — with a partner—but it could also be with a long-term business partner or best friend. Conversation is the key to moving up these three levels. People who struggle with conversation:
Master conversationalists:
↑ Table of Contents ↑ Be Highly LikableWould people describe you as likable? Is it easy for you to get people on your teams or influence others to your point of view? Likability is an important facet of trust. We often hear about being “authentic” or “genuine.” These are all aspects of likability. In order to like someone we, want them to be congruent with their words and actions. We like people who we feel are showing us their true selves. Psychologist Carl Rogers described a concept called Self-Actualization, which speaks to how closely people show their real self compared to their ideal self. People who are not likable:
Highly-likable people:
Action Step: Making friends as an adult is a skill. It used to be so easy when we were younger! We had school, camp and sports to bring new people together. As adults, we have to work at it. I have a step-by-step guide on how to make friends as adults. ↑ Table of Contents ↑ Exceptional at Decoding EmotionsWould you consider yourself highly perceptive? People who are good at reading people are exceptionally strong at knowing how others think and feel. Decoding people, having a strong sense of intuition, and being very empathetic are the emotional intelligence aspects of interpersonal intelligence. When we look at interpersonal intelligence (or people skills), there are three main branches.
Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses in different aspects of interpersonal intelligence. People who struggle with decoding:
People with exceptional decoding abilities:
Action Step: One of the best ways to improve your decoding ability is to learn how to read the 7 microexpressions. We have a definitive guide to reading the face you can use to get started. ↑ Table of Contents ↑ Pitch Your IdeasWhen people ask, “What do you do?” do you know exactly how to pitch yourself well? When you have to pitch yourself or your ideas, can you do so confidently? Pitching is a very important people skills for professionals because it happens all the time — not just at networking events with your elevator pitch, but also during every meeting when you are asked your opinion, in emails when you introduce yourself, and on conference calls. Now, I know it is never easy to brag about yourself, but you should be able to generate excitement around your ideas. Here’s the big question:
People who struggle with pitching themselves and their ideas:
People who are great at pitching themselves:
Action Step: Do you have imposter syndrome? This is the biggest blocker for people struggling with pitching themselves. Make sure you conquer yours. You are worthy. You deserve success. I’ll show you how to beat impostor syndrome. ↑ Table of Contents ↑ Be CharismaticWhat is charisma? Most people think that you have to be born charismatic. I couldn’t disagree more! While I was doing research for our flagship course People School, I found that charisma is the perfect blend of two essential people skills traits: warmth and competence. We talk about this more in the course, but here are the basics: People who are not charismatic:
People who are highly charismatic:
Action Step: My team and I developed a charisma quiz based on the charisma research. See where you fall on our charisma spectrum. Take The Charisma Quiz ↑ Table of Contents ↑ Be an Influential LeaderYou do not have to be leading a company or be the president of an organization to be considered a leader. Leaders in both work life and social life are able to get buy-in, rally teams and generate camaraderie. I do not believe the opposite of a leader is a follower. In fact, sometimes it’s great to be a follower — when you are learning something new or want to be taken on an adventure. It’s almost impossible to be a leader if you struggle with the 3 A’s.
Leaders fight the 3 A’s:
Action Step: Begin to fight the 3 A’s in your life. Start with the one that most resonates with you. Do you need to get rid of some ambivalent relationships? Do you need to set a plan for yourself? Do you need to find activities that truly excite you? This is how you can become a leader. ↑ Table of Contents ↑ Bonus: Be ProductiveI have one bonus people skill for you. I simply had to include this skill because it has come up for our students over and over again. When our students join People School, we ask them a simple question: What skills are you currently missing that are preventing you from achieving your goals? Over and over again, our students give us specific interpersonal skills like the ones above — charisma, communication, confidence. But our third most popular answer? Productivity. Specifically, our students say:
I realize this is a bonus people skill because interpersonal intelligence takes determination, motivation, and follow-through to hone. Developing your PQ, or people skills, is just as important as your IQ. We need a systematic way to practice our people skills to be more successful and achieve our goals. Learn More People School is an intensive 12-step program to advance your people skills. This virtual training is geared towards high-achieving professionals who want to level up their career success. What does connecting with others mean?Connecting with others is a sense of being open and available to another person, even as you feel they are open and available to you. Other ingredients of human connection are empathy and compassion – we feel goodwill to the person we are connecting with.
What is it called when you connect with people?Social connection is the experience of feeling close and connected to others. It involves feeling loved, cared for, and valued, and forms the basis of interpersonal relationships.
What are social connections between individuals called?Social connections are sometimes called “social capital” for good reason: They are a valuable resource in life, creating moments of positivity and fun, supporting us through good times and bad, and exposing us to new ideas and new people.
What are examples of social connectedness?For example, having a close family member who owns a car makes it easier to get to a doctor's appointment. Social connectedness affects us psycho-socially by providing meaningful interactions, emotional support, and a sense of belonging and being valued by the community.
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