Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with others.
For instance:
- We listen to obtain information.
- We listen to understand.
- We listen for enjoyment.
- We listen to learn.
Given all the listening that we do, you would think we'd be good at it! In fact, most of us are not, and research suggests that we only remember between 25 percent and 50 percent of what we hear, as described by Edgar Dale's Cone of Experience. That means that when you talk to your boss, colleagues, customers, or spouse for 10 minutes, they pay attention to less than half of the conversation.
Turn it around and it reveals that when you are receiving directions or being presented with information, you aren't hearing the whole message either. You hope the important parts are captured in your 25-50 percent, but what if they're not?
Clearly, listening is a skill that we can all benefit from improving. By becoming a better listener, you can improve your productivity, as well as your ability to influence, persuade and negotiate. What's more, you'll avoid conflict and misunderstandings. All of these are necessary for workplace success!
Click here to view a transcript of this video.
Good communication skills require a high level of self-awareness. Understanding your own personal style of communicating will go a long way toward helping you to create good and lasting impressions with others.
About Active Listening
The way to improve your listening skills is to practice "active listening." This is where you make a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying but, more importantly, the complete message being communicated.
In order to do this you must pay attention to the other person very carefully.
You cannot allow yourself to become distracted by whatever else may be going on around you, or by forming counter arguments while the other person is still speaking. Nor can you allow yourself to get bored, and lose focus on what the other person is saying.
If you're finding it particularly difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying, try repeating their words mentally as they say them. This will reinforce their message and help you to stay focused.
To enhance your listening skills, you need to let the other person know that you are listening to what they're saying.
To understand the importance of this, ask yourself if you've ever been engaged in a conversation when you wondered if the other person was listening to what you were saying. You wonder if your message is getting across, or if it's even worthwhile continuing to speak. It feels like talking to a brick wall and it's something you want to avoid.
Acknowledgement can be something as simple as a nod of the head or a simple "uh huh." You aren't necessarily agreeing with the person, you are simply indicating that you are listening. Using body language and other signs to acknowledge you are listening can also help you to pay attention.
Try to respond to the speaker in a way that will encourage them to continue speaking, so that you can get the information that you need. While nodding and "uh huhing" says you're interested, an occasional question or comment to recap what has been said also communicates that you are listening and understanding his message.
Be aware that active listening can give others the impression that you agree with them even if you don't. It’s also important to avoid using active listening as a checklist of actions to follow, rather than really listening. It may help to practice Mindful Listening if you find that you lose focus regularly.
Becoming an Active Listener
There are five key active listening techniques you can use to help you become a more effective listener:
1. Pay Attention
Give the speaker your undivided attention, and acknowledge the message. Recognize that non-verbal communication also "speaks" loudly.
- Look at the speaker directly.
- Put aside distracting thoughts.
- Don't mentally prepare a rebuttal!
- Avoid being distracted by environmental factors. For example, side conversations.
- "Listen" to the speaker's body language.
2. Show That You're Listening
Use your own body language and gestures to show that you are engaged.
- Nod occasionally.
- Smile and use other facial expressions.
- Make sure that your posture is open and interested.
- Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like yes, and "uh huh."
3. Provide Feedback
Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said. This may require you to reflect on what is being said and to ask questions.
- Reflect on what has been said by paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is... ," and "Sounds like you are saying... ," are great ways to reflect back.
- Ask questions to clarify certain points. "What do you mean when you say... ." "Is this what you mean?"
- Summarize the speaker's comments periodically.
If you find yourself responding emotionally to what someone said, say so. And ask for more information: "I may not be understanding you correctly, and I find myself taking what you said personally. What I thought you just said is XXX. Is that what you meant?"
4. Defer Judgment
Interrupting is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits full understanding of the message.
- Allow the speaker to finish each point before asking questions.
- Don't interrupt with counter arguments.
5. Respond Appropriately
Active listening is designed to encourage respect and understanding. You are gaining information and perspective. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or otherwise putting her down.
- Be candid, open and honest in your response.
- Assert your opinions respectfully.
- Treat the other person in a way that you think they would want to be treated.
Infographic
Click on the thumbnail image below to see Active Listening represented in an infographic:
Key Points
It takes a lot of concentration and determination to be an active listener. Old habits are hard to break, and if your listening skills are as bad as many people's are, then you'll need to do a lot of work to break these bad habits.
There are five key techniques you can use to develop your active listening skills:
- Pay attention.
- Show that you're listening.
- Provide feedback.
- Defer judgment.
- Respond appropriately.
Start using active listening techniques today to become a better communicator, improve your workplace productivity, and develop better relationships.
Most people believe that communication is only about speaking. But one of the most underrated communication skills is listening.
Active listening is just as important for clear communication as speaking is.
However, listening is not the same thing as hearing. Active listening means concentrating on what a speaker is saying rather than just passively hearing them.
It also involves paying attention to nonverbal cues such as tone, body language, and facial expressions.
You must understand the importance of active listening skills in your professional as well as personal life. Most people limit attentive listening to formal meetings but you should use this skill in all conversations for more effective communication.
Most people believe that communication is only about speaking. But one of the most underrated communication skills is listening.
What is active listening?
We know the common meaning of active listening is fully concentrating on what the speaker says rather than just passively ‘hearing’ them.
But there’s more. Listening actively is also about patience and not interrupting a speaker.
You will notice many examples of active listening around you. Students listen actively to their teachers. Employees listen to their leaders. And leaders listen to their employees.
Importance of active listening
Did you know that about 70-80% of our working hours are spent in communication of some form? The average person spends only 30% of their time talking and 45% listening.
This underscores the importance of developing active listening skills. Here are some tips for effective listening to make your communication more effective.
Tips for effective listening
Harappa’s Listening Actively course delves into the importance of active listening to improve one’s communication. The HARP Equation in the course focuses on developing the process through Hearing, Attention, Response, and Perception.
However, while you are exploring or have just joined the course, here are some tips for effective listening to get you started:
‘The first step to listening actively is paying attention to the speaker. And as management guru Peter Drucker said, “The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.”
Here are some ways in which you can give your undivided attention to the speaker:
- Look at the speaker directly
- Stop other activities while you are listening
- Don’t prepare a response or a rebuttal in your mind as you listen
- Avoid being distracted by external factors such as noise or side conversations
- Pay attention to the speaker’s body language
Sometimes even though you give your undivided attention to the person speaking, they look doubtful or ask if you’ve understood what they said. This is because they don’t see any sign of attentive listening.
Your active listening skills must be visible to the speaker. How do you convey your interest? It’s simple. You can use nonverbal signs such as nodding your head or smiling whenever appropriate. Even your posture says a lot about your interest and attentiveness.
So next time you are all ears to someone, try to let them know through your gestures and body language:
- Maintain eye contact with the speaker
- Use body language to show interest–sit straight or lean in, and stop fidgeting
- Nod, smile, and use appropriate facial expressions
- Encourage the speaker to continue with comments such as ‘yes’ or ‘hmm’
People sometimes listen without understanding what the speaker is saying. Always engage with the speaker by sharing your feedback or asking questions for effective communication.
- Ask thoughtful questions to clarify your doubts
- Try to summarize the speaker’s points to confirm if you understood them clearly
- Reflect on what the speaker has said by paraphrasing
The soul of active listening lies in respecting the speaker and understanding what is being said. Those who listen with genuine interest don’t have reactions. They formulate appropriate responses that enrich the conversation. A well-thought-out and respectful response shows that you have listened closely to the speaker. It encourages them to share more information.
So, how can you ensure that you respond and not react? Here are a few tips:
- Reflect on what you have heard instead of reacting immediately
- Be open, honest, and candid when you respond
- Do not attack the speaker or challenge them rudely
- Be respectful yet assertive with your opinions
Examples of active listening
Now that you have tips for effective listening at hand, let’s look at some real-life examples of active listening:
The COVID-19 pandemic has made working from home the new normal. But remote working is a challenge for team leaders and managers as communication and coordination are tough.
You can use your active listening skills to improve communication between colleagues. You can connect with your colleagues in one-on-one chats to understand how they have been coping with the challenges of the lockdown. Make sure to listen attentively when they share their experiences.
Working from home means that work-related meetings, conferences, and presentations have all shifted online. This has made effective communication more challenging and attentive listening has become essential. This is an opportunity to improve your active listening skills.
Paraphrasing what the speaker said after they finish speaking is a good technique to improve communication. Take mental notes as you listen. Then, paraphrase what they said and summarize their main points. You can begin your summary by saying “So, you’re saying that …” or “You think that we need to …”.
This is a common technique of active listening that you can use in your day-to-day life. Ask open-ended questions to encourage the speaker to share more. You can also ask specific questions to clarify details. That will show that you have been listening with the intent of understanding.
Whether a colleague is describing an incident, or someone is complaining about something, or even sharing good news, make sure you ask questions that propel the conversation forward.
With the new normal of working from home during the pandemic, it is sometimes difficult to stay completely focused on virtual conversations. Whether it’s a brief online meeting or lengthy conference calls, one is bound to get distracted. Now is the time to work on your listening skills.
Join Harappa’s Listening Actively course and add one more essential soft skill that most employers seek. After all, whether it is in your professional or personal life, your success will lie more in your ability to be a good listener than a good speaker.
Explore our Harappa Diaries section to know more about topics related to the Communicate habit such as the Importance of Communication, Process of Communication, What is Report Writing and Writing Skills.